1  It’s the perfect festival season opener  three (and a bit) days of music with a choice of stages and two new ones for 2016,  plus the infamous dance tent. And there’s plenty more going on besides. Tickets are only just over £100 and Bearded Theory festival is, as usual, on the way to selling out, so don’t wait too long.


2  Magical Sounds Dance Tent Bearded Theory just happens to have the maddest, most awe-inspiring dance tent ever, presenting a genre-defying mix of artists and DJs. Dance to its gorgeous mix of swirly global trancey sounds. Admire its tasteful Christmas decorations. Wait in anticipation for the giant puppets. 


Mad Mick
Mad Mick

3  There’s a children’s area loaded with activities, but Bearded Theory’s piece de resistance is the free OFSTED-approved school for 5-16 year-olds, which means no guilt for taking your kids out of their usual academy of learning. So, everyone gets what they need. Parents = bands, beer, dancing. Kids = school.

4  Fancy dress: the Pirate theme of 2015 resulted in many a feisty, sexy buccaneer with seafaring swagger. For 2016 the theme is Stars in their Eyes... the perfect opportunity to reincarnate yourself as your favourite icon, past or present. I better get practicing my Siouxsie Sioux eyebrows. And for 2018, who knows what the team are dreaming up.


5 Beards  Don’t expect Brownie points for your hipster faux-lumberjack fluff. Bearded Theory beards are of the proudly fake variety (flipflops, Lego, a duck…? see pic below), so women can partake equally of the hirsute facial finery. Yes, Bearded Theory believes in gender equality.

Bearded man at festival
Bird beard

6  Celeb fancy dress picker  The bum-bagged Mr Motivator was judge for 2016, where he judged the fancy dress contest, hosting a Sunday morning workout and reminding us of our ever-expanding waistlines. In 2015 Mr Lego was deservedly crowned as winner. John Robb did the honours in 2017. 

Mr Motivator
He’s a winner!

7  The Woodland got a well-deserved thumbs up from the BT revellers, and the eye-catching Woodland Stage itself is a thing of beauty, carved from oak. The area is a shaded sylvan respite from main-arena action, with its own bar. A musical highlight for 2016 is Turin Brakes who are on tour, and will be dropping in to showcase their new album Lost Property.


8  Music, lots of it – this year the headliners are… Adele! and Coldplay!!
Not really. Bearded Theory festival has a far more eclectic lineup… Cornwall-based folkies 3 Daft Monkeys who have been involved with BT from the start. Plus plenty more goodies for your entertainment.

3 daft monkeys at Bearded Theory


What do you think?